Thursday, October 21, 2010

sad....

I'm not a very private person.

I don't hide things well at all!



Today I am sad because as of yesterday I am no longer 10 weeks pregnant.



It was a surprise pregnancy, but of course I was very excited!!

There are tons of reasons this is best.........

*my baby is barely 8 months old and would be a big sister at 15 months (I've done it before and it worked out great, but it's not easy!)

*I haven't gotten my pre-pregnancy body back and I've never started a pregnancy this heavy

*I just got done being pregnant



But, none of that matters.

I was really excited about having another baby, and I know people think I'm nuts......but I love being pregnant.

I know other people have much sadder things to be sad about.

I know (at least I hope) that I'll be able to have another baby when it's the right time.

I know in a few days I will feel happy again.



But, for today I feel sad.

I've cried lots, but I don't want to cry any more.

So, I went to 5th street bagelry and picked up a pumpkin chocolate chip bagel and shmeared it with pumpkin cream cheese. I also got myself some strawberry milk.

Elli and I are going to watch a movie in our sweats.


good things:
an excuse to eat something yummy
an excuse to laze around
an excuse not to clean my house

10 comments:

disillusioned said...

I'm sorry--miscarriages are just sad :(

Mary P.

Marley Family said...

My heartaches for you. I wish there was something I could say to make the pain go away. I'm so greatful for Hevenly Fathers plan. He knows what is best for us even if we dont know why. I know that there is another special spirit waiting to come to earth for you. Hang in there. If you need anything I'm here for you! Big hugs! Serena

Erin Johnson said...

Love you!

Amy said...

Angela, I'm so sorry I know how bad you want another baby right now. I'm really sad for you. Please call if you want to talk. Love you!

Gina Hallam said...

I am so very sorry to hear of this loss Ang :( I know the pain all too well, it is so sad and hard to experience that. I know that, even those lost before they are born to us, will be with us later. That thought and knowledge has been helpful and comforting to me. BIG HUGS ANG!!!!! You are AMAZING!!!!

Bingham Family said...

My dear sweet friend, I am so sorry for your sadness. my heart aches for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

MamaBug said...

Oh Angela, I'm so sorry. From personal experience I know that there is no pain quite so exquisite as losing a baby. Hugs!

Erin said...

I'm so sorry Angela! I'm glad that you have such a wonderful attitude and I pray that things will happen for you when the time is right again. Lots of love!!!!

The Whittacres said...

Oh Ang...I am soo sorry for you and your families loss! GIGANTIC HUGS!

Kristin said...

I'm so sorry. I have been here. I know that grief.
Praying for you.