Friday, October 14, 2011

from the heart

I am usually a pretty positive and happy person.

But having this baby is kicking my buns right now.

I'm sure it's mostly a lack of sleep and messed up hormones.......

I was thinking about it last night - I had Leandra in February 2010 and got pregnant again 5 months later (July). I had a miscarriage 3 months after that (October) and 2 months later (December) I was pregnant again.

My body is completely depleted.
My hair and skin even show it - I just feel limp and dead.

I was blessed with great genetics - and I'm being serious.
I have the same body composition as my dad.
I have a body that is strong and very healthy.
I have a body that has been able to carry and deliver 9 healthy children.
I have a body that can work hard.
But, I also struggle with my weight like my dad.

My husband eats far more than I do and doesn't exercise any more than I do - but because of his genetics he weighs the same as he did in high school. Exactly the same.

I was very thin in high school and college, but as soon as I started having babies the yo-yo started.
Lose all the baby weight, then get pregnant and gain 50 pounds.
Then work my tail off to lose it again.

After I had Mariah (baby #6) I got back down to 130 pounds - wearing size 6.
I was running every day and eating very healthy.

But then I got pregnant with Elli.
Elli was my hardest pregnancy, hardest baby, hardest toddler......and I never lost all the baby weight.

So here we are today after a long haul.
Desperately needing to lose this baby weight.

I'm only saying all of this because......


I don't need sympathy. I need encouragement!

I know how to lose weight, but it's a lot of HARD work and I think I'm ready!!

good things:
it's date night
a great talk with Corina last night
when issues with kids and their friends work themselves out


Marley Family said...

I feel the same way about myself! I'm ready to have my body back too! Your post has inspired me to have a Mommy makeover! Thanks Ang ;)

Holly said...

Oh Angela! Weight has been the issue at the top of my list for the last decade. I started gaining weight after surgery on both knees right before getting pregnant with Kennedy. After my first baby, post partum depression helped me gain even more weight after she was born. After Carter was born and the PPD got better (3 years after his birth) I was able to work out 6 days a week for almost a year and a half and loose almost 50 pounds. Then I got pregnant with Drew. He is now 3 and I gained back the 50 pounds after he was born. I am also ready to reclaim my body. I don't even remember how it feels to be a normal weight anymore. Let's do it girl!!

Linda and Lane said...

I know just how you feel! But give your self a little time! Your body has to heal first! Go out for a walk, drink lots of water, and try this web site with some friends for support. You can do it! Just take one day at a time, and soon you'll see and feel a difference.

Gina Hallam said...

I love you tons Ang!!! You have always been an inspiration to me. I've seen you struggle, I've seen you conquer... I've seen you overcome.... I know you can do anything that you put your heart and soul into... It is such a blessing to know you and call you friend.... although you're much more than a friend... you're a sister and I love you tons!!!

Anna Crowe said...

I want to give you a hug and rub your feet and remind you to chill out for a minute, girl. :D

You are a powerful, beautiful woman with immense influence. Please be patient with your body and yourself. Although I need this encouragement myself, I am saying it to you because I mean it.

While you DO have amazing genetics and your children have been blessed to inherit them, it's okay that your body isn't in ideal shape right now. You are okay. You did JUST have a baby. And your beautiful babies have wreaked havoc on your beautiful high school body, and will continue to do so until the hormones calm down when you stop nursing. Please be patient with yourself and your body. It is still healing. And remember it takes longer to heal the older we are. You may "feel" okay, but if you push it you can do more harm than good causing the process to take longer.

You will see weight fall off as relax about it. Then, when your body is healed, push it hard. Exercise, dance, run a marathon... You can do it all!

Until then, be at peace.

Bingham Family said...

Go Ang Go!!!!