Saturday, July 2, 2011

encounter

I had a little issue with someone yesterday and it's pretty much all I've thought about since then.

I tend to say and do things I regret A LOT when I'm pregnant. I've already said this many times before and I'm not trying to make an excuse for my behavior, but I really am not myself when I'm pregnant.

This weekend has been different than usual because Dave's sister Jen is here from Washington D.C. for a visit.

Yesterday I took Corina and Adri grocery shopping with me.

I knew Jen and Akayla were running to Wal-Mart for a few minutes, but I knew Dave was home so the kids had an adult here besides the fact that Tanner is 13 and very capable of babysitting.

I had forgotten that Dave promised to help someone move a piano for a few minutes - but again, Tanner was home and is a great babysitter.....as long as he knows he is babysitting.

We all left and Dave forgot to mention to Tanner that he was in charge - really Dave was only gone for about 10 minutes.

In those 10 minutes Anna & Mariah ran across the street to our friends with a big playset - a very common occurrence. We usually have a pack of children going back and forth. In fact those friends have very young children and we have often had their new walking babies walk over to our house following big sisters. Because we live at the end of a cul-de-sac and because everyone knows there are 16 children between our 2 families and another 5 from other families that are ALWAYS running across the street everyone goes nice and slow and we all look out for everyone else's children.

Anyway, Anna & Mars happened to leave the front door open so out went Lea.

Her hair was done really cute, her face was washed, she was wearing adorable clothes, but she had taken her shoes off and was in the middle of the road. I mention the hair, face & clothes because I'm no white trash mom. My kids don't run wild. I am always aware of where they are and I never let Leandra out unaccompanied.



But this time she was alone and had no shoes on.


When I got home some lady was holding my baby and coming across the street to me.

I asked what was going on and took my baby.
She proceeded to get in my face and threaten me about my neglect.
She said she had come to my house and knocked and didn't get an answer - twice.
She had her phone ready to call the police and was yelling at me and telling me I was the worst mother she had ever seen.

I brought her to my house which was clean and I started looking for people.
I found Tanner out on the deck because remember - he didn't know he was babysitting.
I called Dave and kind of got upset with him - this lady is watching me the whole time - expressing what had happened and what was going on.

At this point I explained what had happened to this woman and that I was so grateful she was the one to find my baby and take care of her. I thanked her for being so kind.

She again proceeded to tell me what a terrible mother I am and wondered how any mother could be so neglectful. She said she still felt that she should call the police.



Then..... the mother bear in me surfaced.


I said a lot of things.... many I regret because I was angry and felt attacked. I eventually told her to get the *bleep* off my property (not proud of that at all) and that's right when Dave pulled up.
Immediately this woman who had been in my face and attacking me became a nice sweet lady for my husband to see.
He could feel the tension and knew I was very upset and was able to appease the situation a bit. Basically he told her to quit threatening me and leave.


It was kind of ugly.


It's funny because my mom has expressed that she can never say what she wants in those situations and she thinks of what she should have said later.
I'm opposite - I can say exactly what I think but I regret it later and wish I had reacted in a more Christlike way.

I don't know if it would have changed anything anyway. She was really being mean and I needed to stand up for myself. I don't think anyone should be allowed to walk all over me.


I think I just needed to write that all out because I feel a little better.

I know many people probably think it's irresponsible to have so many children.
I am sure many judge me because I'm not a perfect mom.
I don't care. I'm not trying to be perfect.
I'd love to see a mom who really is perfect and does everything right!

But I love my kids more than anything and I know that every one of them was supposed to be mine. They are each part of me and a part of me would be missing if I didn't have them. This is the life I was born to live and I love it!


good things:
waking up to the smell of quiche (my sil is a really good cook!)
4-day weekends
taking a hike with my family at night and looking out over the city lights

8 comments:

Tamara said...

Sorry you had such a not fun experience. You are a WONDERFUL, kind, loving, caring, amazing, selfless, and GREAT Mother. Things like this happen. Last year I was gone running errands with my daughters, Nathan took Michael to his game, and I met him there. I asked where Jacob was and it dawned on Nath that he had left Jacob home! Yes, he was barely 8, but shouldn't be home alone nonetheless. I rushed home to find him quietly playing in the basement and he didn't even know everyone was gone. Does that make us bad parents? Of course not. Good for you standing up for yourself. I know it still hurts though. And also, having a lot of childeren is NOT neglectful - it is AWESOME and I admire you for being such a great mom and being willing to bring so many wonderful spirits to this earth. Love you!! :)

The Saville Family said...

You make me laugh.. You go girl and just put that lady in her place. You are a wonderful mom and I look up to you now knowing or understanding how you handle being a wife and mother of 8 soon to be 9 very well behaved children. I wished I could've been a fly on the wall watching that encounter.
Love You!

Marley Family said...

I love that you told that lady off! It makes my heart happy! Your a wonderful Mother and that lady has no idea what she is talking about. If you want I'll toilet paper her house ;) J/k!

Gina Hallam said...

We always wish we could be more Christ like. But we are human. We can be forgiven. We need to protect our families and things happen. (Like you go visit your second oldest in the hospital and leave the oldest in charge. But he doesn't get out of bed. Instead he is woken up by the police because the youngest is up earlier and goes out the door looking for mom). Fortunately the lady that found him recognized him from church and was much kinder. But Gina was shocked to see the police at home when she returned.
We are not neglectful. Just tried some time to help keep us be a bit more grateful. Your a great mom and Dave is a great father, We hope the Ferrara's have many, many more children that set such a great example for the rest of us to follow.

frateslm said...

Well dear, Among your MANY talents, you are humble and teachable and have the wisdom to write about it (by the way you are really a talented writer and I love your blog) and then let it go. this is a Good thing not to focus on for too long. Just keep your focus as you do, on becoming more like our HERO. Sending my love and encouragement, LYNAE

Melissa said...

Hang in there! I'm sure that everyone that knows you, admires you just as much as I do. You are a wonderful person, and mother...and thankfully only God's evaluation of us really matters in the end. I'm sure He is more than pleased with you and your efforts.

Meikjn said...

that was me last week. I never form the right words either. I hate it. I had a few neighbors get mad at me recently. I hate when people treat me like that. I get it because I look younger than I am, and people assume I am a single mom (that is pretty common around here). I have been dwelling on my own similar experience too. People don't get kids sometimes.

Bingham Family said...

I think you are AWESOME!!!!! What a nasty encounter. Just for the record I am a big fan of yours. Don't let it get to you. You are AMAZING and you have to know that!!!!