deliberate

I have always been a new year's resolution kind of girl, but I have to admit..... I have lately become a little disillusioned.

Mostly because, like most people, I fizzle out and don't completely follow through with my goals.

Maybe it's also because I have these great plans and ideas, and then I find out I'm pregnant and the whole year is a complete bust.

I recently read something though that helped me to re-think the new year's resolution idea.

It just reminded me that even if I am not perfect at finishing my goal - I have made progress.

It's not about success or failure.

Some of the most profoundly moving and inspirational times I've experienced in my life have happened when I have knelt in prayer and asked God where I'm falling short.  I have specifically asked what He wants me to be.

It's very humbling.

I have been taught what I need to do this year (and maybe for the next few years).

Just like in year's past I have chosen a word..... a word that describes my intentions for the year.

(past words here:  2013 -focus,  2012 - strengthen, 2011 - strengthen, 2010 - 19 things,)


My word for 2014 is

adjective

1.

carefully weighed or considered; studied; intentional.

2.    leisurely and steady in movement or action; slow and even; purposeful and unhurried.

3.

to weigh in the mind; consider.

verb 

4.

to think carefully or attentively; reflect.

Love this quote:

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms.”

*Henry David Thoreau

My life feels like it's spinning out of control most of the time, and I am pulled in so many different directions.

I often walk into my bedroom at the end of the day feeling defeated.

There are too many things on my list of things to be done and it often feels like I have not accomplished anything of worth.

I don't want to look back and regret this time in my life.

Every minute of my life can be deliberate, intentional, purposeful and unhurried.

I think it takes planning and preparing to become deliberate.

One of the most important parts of my goal is my Deliberate Journal.

I have already started writing things in it - times I did something deliberately, and other times that I didn't.

There are many times during my day that I am definitely not deliberate - as I'm rushing around I may miss lunch instead of taking a few minutes to eat with my kids and enjoy the time with them, or I may just grab something (not healthy) and stuff it in my mouth just to make my stomach feel better instead of planning ahead and having healthy choices ready to grab any time, or as I'm feeding my baby I may turn facebook on instead of listening to something uplifting or reading to one of my kids (or myself), or I may get my kids off to school and immediately start rushing around taking care of the many things that need to be done that day instead of starting off my day with a prayer and some time to read the scriptures (because in my mind I can always do it before bed), or I may turn a movie on for my kids so I can fold some laundry instead of playing with them for a few minutes (there will always be laundry).

My whole mindset is changing, and I like it.

Sometimes it's uncomfortable making changes, and it may even hurt (I really hate exercising)..... but I know the person God wants me to be and I'm willing!

good things:
getting our microwave fixed
a much-needed day out
Olive Garden salad