old

I've been feeling really old lately.

I think it's because we have some really young moms at church and I get to play with their kids in the nursery.  Then I realize how young I am not any more!


There's nothing wrong with getting old of course......



I love that I have all of my children here now.....and there's no way I could have done that if I was still young (unless I had 10 babies at once - no thank you!).



I love all the great experiences I have had as I watch my children grow older ....we couldn't have gone through all of it if I was still young.



I love all the many opportunities to serve and bless others my husband and I have both had over the years.......and we couldn't possibly fit them all into those first years.


I love the houses we have lived in:

Our tiny little trailer house in Provo while Dave was in school and trying to be hired as a seminary teacher. It was ugly when we moved in, but by the time we moved out it was super cute! We celebrated our first Christmas in that house. We kneeled to pray together as a married couple for the first time in that house. We brought our first baby home to that house. I learned to cook in that house. We had our first family home evening in that house. Dave graduated from BYU in that house. We had two little girls while we lived in that house that both slept in a room the size of our bathroom now. We went to school a lot while we lived in that house. Dave was in the bishopric of our family ward, and then on the high council while we lived in that house. We were hired to teach seminary, and we were interviewed by a general authority while we lived in that house.

Ferrara Family 1996

Our 1st real home in New Plymouth, Idaho was another ugly house, but we remodeled everything including a new roof, new siding, and a 900 square foot addition. By the time we moved our house was adorable. We had 4 more babies in that house. We lived in that house for 8 years. We went to Italy while we lived in that house. I played in a string quartet with 3 of my best friends. We had a dog (regretfully) for a year before she died and we buried her in the backyard of that house. I homeschooled 4 children and taught 45 piano and violin students while living in that house. We played in the symphony together in that house. Dave was also in the bishopric in our ward there. We served in the spanish branch for 2 years. We had a huge garden in that house and I learned to can while we lived in that house. Tanner got a police record while we lived in that house (no really he did -- he was 4!!).

Ferrara Family 2005

Our 1st home in Pocatello. Our first brand new house definitely wasn't ugly, but it sure felt small with 9 kids! We had 2 more babies while living in that house, and our kids got HUGE! Our kids went to school for the first time while living in that house. I played in the symphony and Dave played in a trombone quartet. Dave worked on his masters degree for many years and finally finished it in that house. We created a nice music studio for all of my students in that house. Dave was in the bishopric again - called only a month after we moved into the house and loved those men he served with like brothers. We sent our 2 oldest daughters and son to high school and seminary in that house. We had countless spiritual experiences in that house. We became a taxi service in that house - taking kids to music lessons, friend's houses, basketball practices, symphony rehearsals, clogging practices, and millions of social events. We experienced heart break in that house. We had miracles happen for our family in that house. We had teenagers and babies in that house.

And now the home we live in...........

Just like all of our other homes, we slowly try to improve our space every year we live here.  Little and big changes.  For the first time we aren't crowded in our home, and instead of adding babies to our family we are now adding in-laws.  We had our last baby in this house.  We sent our first and 2nd daughters off to college and a mission in this house.  We welcomed our daughter's husband to this house.  And soon (hopefully!) we will have our first grand babies come play at this house.  We have reached a new stage of life in this house - and it will never ever be the same.  There will be forever a hole in my heart missing my children who've gone out into the world..... but life continues to move forward.  Our children grow in this house, and our teenagers find themselves in this house.  We read the scriptures, share our testimonies and pray together in this house.  We argue and make up in this house.  We are best friends in this house.  We share our dreams and our disappointments in this house.  We work hard in this house.  I love the relationship I have built with each one of my children in this house.  The goofy moments, the movies and games we've played, and especially the late night talks.  They are my very favorite people in the world.

We love, laugh, cry and live in this house.  

These homes have become dear friends

 that hold so many treasured memories.

We couldn't possibly have done all of those things if I was still young.



I love the hundreds and hundreds of dates my husband and I have gone on, the good and bad experiences, the little arguments and making up, the bike rides, the long talks, the amazing places we've seen together (from Italy, Washington D.C., New York City, to Idaho Falls!), and the many many times we've gone to the temple together and shared our most sacred thoughts and experiences together.  We have such a strong and beautiful relationship now. As much as I loved my husband when I was young.....I love him so much more 21 years later.

newlyweds June 1994

20 year anniversary 2014

I love the many people who have touched my life through the years and have taught me to be a better person. I have a long way to go - good thing we have eternity to work on it! But, I look back on those years when I was young and I am glad I am a little older and see things a little clearer.


I even love the MANY MANY mistakes I have made over the years because they have helped me learn to rely on my Savior more instead of myself. My testimony has grown so much stronger than when I was young.


It's good to get older....even though I have a lot more wrinkles,(no gray hairs yet), and lots more pounds to deal with.......because then I can look back at when I was young and smile. I have great memories and lots more to make!!!




good things:
pictures to remind me
choosing happiness
growing old with my best friend